The Lighter Side

 

Discover golf ...the way it was meant to be.

 

About Us
Find Us
Stay & Play
Tee Times
Memberships
Events
Contact Us
Links
Pro Shop

 

 

We all love the great game of golf, but sometimes we tend to forget it is - after all - a game to be enjoyed.  Golf also has its lighter side.  This page is dedicated to giving each of you a smile or two.

 

Great news for Seniors

The AARP Negotiates with the USGA

 to Modify the Rules of Golf for Seniors!
 
Rule  1.a.5
A ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and placed on the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or rolled into the rough with no penalty. The senior should not be penalized for tall grass which groundskeepers failed to mow.
 

Rule 2.d.6 (b)
A ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree.  This is simply bad luck and luck has no place in a scientific game.  The senior player must estimate the distance the ball would have traveled if it had not hit the tree and play the ball from there.
 

Rule 3.b.3 (g)
There shall be no such thing as a lost ball; the missing ball is on or near the course and will eventually be found and pocketed by someone else, making it a stolen ball.  The player is not to compound the felony by charging himself or herself with a penalty.
 

Rule  4.c.7 (h)
If a putt passes over a hole without dropping, it is deemed to have dropped.  The law of gravity supersedes the Rules of Golf.
 

Rule 5.  
Putts that stop close enough to the cup that they could be blown in, may be blown in.  This does not apply to balls more than three inches from the hole.  No one wants to make a travesty of the game.
 

Rule 6.a.9 (k)  
There is no penalty for so-called "out of bounds."  If penny-pinching golf course owners bought sufficient land, this would not occur.  The senior golfer deserves an apology, not a penalty.
 

Rule 7.g.15 (z)
There is no penalty for a ball in a water hazard, as golf balls should float.  Senior golfers should not be penalized for manufacturers' shortcomings.
 

Rule  8.k.9(s)
Advertisements claim that golf scores can be improved by  purchasing new golf equipment.  Since this is financially impracticable for many senior golfers, one-half stroke per hole may be subtracted for using old equipment.

Please advise all your Senior friends of these important rule changes.

 


Golf Truisms

Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies, obscured by the occasional miracle, followed by a good bottle of beer

Golf!  You hit down to make the ball go up.  You swing left and the ball goes right.  The lowest score wins.  And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks.

Golf is harder than baseball.  In golf, you have to play your foul balls.

If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the snow, even during a hurricane, here's a valuable tip:  Your life is in trouble.

Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot, rarely make a perfect shot.

The term "mulligan" is really a contraction of the phrase "maul it again."

A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers ... neither of whom can putt very well.

An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play, it is always possible to get worse.

Golf's a hard game to figure.  One day you'll go out and slice it, shank it, hit into all the traps, and miss every green.  The next day you go out and for no reason at all you really stink.
I play in the low 80s.  If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.
If your best shots are the practice swing and the "gimme putt", you might wish to reconsider this game.

Golf is the only sport where the most feared opponent is you.

Golf is like marriage:  If you take yourself too seriously it won't work .. and both are expensive.

The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.

To some golfers, the greatest handicap is the ability to add correctly.

In golf, some people tend to get confused with all the numbers... they shoot a six, yell fore, and write five.

Swing easy.  Hit hard.
If you find yourself pleased that you locate more balls in the rough than you have actually lost, your focus is totally wrong, and your personality might not be right for golf.  It is also just a matter of time before the IRS investigates your business.
Why is it twice as difficult to hit a ball over water than sand?

The greatest sound in golf is the Woosh, Woosh, Woosh, of your opponent's club as he hurls it across the fairway