Don't buy a putter
until you've had a chance to throw
it.
Never try to keep more than 300
separate thoughts in your mind
during your swing.
When your shot has to carry over a
water hazard, you can either hit one
more club or two more balls.
If you're afraid a full shot might
reach the green while the foursome
ahead of you is still putting out,
you have two options: you can
immediately shank a lay-up or you
can wait until the green is clear
and top a ball halfway there.
The less skilled the player, the
more likely he is to share his ideas
about the golf swing.
No matter how bad you are playing,
it is always possible to play worse.
The inevitable result
of any golf lesson is the instant
elimination of the one critical
unconscious motion that allowed you
to compensate for all of your many
other errors
Everyone replaces his
divot after a perfect approach shot.
A golf match is a test of your skill
against your opponents' luck.
It is surprisingly easy to hole a
fifty foot putt for a 10.
Counting on your opponent to inform
you when he breaks a rule is like
expecting him to make fun of his own
haircut.
Nonchalant putts count the same as
chalant putts
It's not a gimme if you're still
away.
The shortest distance between any
two points on a golf course is a
straight line that passes directly
through the center of a very large
tree.
You can hit a two acre fairway 10%
of the time and a two inch branch
90% of the time.
If you really want to get better at
golf, go back and take it up at a
much earlier age.
Since bad shots come
in groups of three, a fourth bad
shot is actually
the
beginning of the next
group of three.
When you look up, causing an awful
shot, you will always look down
again at exactly the moment when you
ought to start watching the ball if
you ever want to see it again.
Every time a golfer makes a birdie,
he must subsequently make two triple
bogeys to restore the fundamental
equilibrium of the universe.
If you want to hit a 7 iron as far
as Tiger Woods does, simply try to
lay up just short of a water hazard.
To calculate the speed of a player's
downswing, multiply the speed of his
back-swing by his handicap; i.e.,
back-swing 20 mph, handicap 15,
downswing = 300 mph.
There are two things
you can learn by stopping your
back-swing at the top and checking
the position of your hands: how many
hands you have, and which one is
wearing the glove.
Hazards attract;
fairways repel.
A ball you can see in the rough from
50 yards away is not yours.
If there is a ball on the fringe and
a ball in the bunker, your ball is
in the bunker. If both balls are in
the bunker, yours is in the
footprint
It's easier to get up at 6:00 AM to
play golf than at 10:00 to mow the
yard
A good drive on the 18th hole has
stopped many a golfer from giving up
the game.
A good golf partner is one who's
always slightly worse than you
are....that's why I get so many
calls to play with friends.
Golf balls are like
eggs. They're white. They're sold by
the dozen. And you need to buy fresh
ones each week.
It's amazing how a golfer who never
helps out around the house will
replace his divots, repair his ball
marks, and rake his sand traps.
If your opponent has trouble
remembering whether he shot a six or
a
seven, he probably
shot an eight (or worse).
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